The New Age Dad

Babyfather – Sade

“For you he’s the best he can be. Oh child don’t you know…your daddy’s love comes with a life time guarantee.”

I remember seeing him walk down Broadway (the main street of the city we live in). It was one of those gorgeous spring days and we were so happy to finally be out of the house. We were just getting over the first tough months as new parents and through one of those hellish winters with a snow storm every week. He was wearing his favorite light green hoodie, his all black Dallas Cowboys hat with black Nike jogging pants and his black Nike sneakers. From behind,  he screamed eligible bachelor with broad shoulders and a nice physique. Then he turned around and there he was: wearing his baby in a baby sling. Read More

Love As Counteridiotism

I Believe – Blessid Union of Souls

“Cause I believe that love is the answer. I believe that love will find the way.”

I woke up today to the devastating news that Pulse, a gay dance club in Orlando, FL, had been the scene of a horrible act of terrorism the night before. A coward, whose name I now know but would never give one speck of publicity to, went into the club and started shooting at innocent people. Fifty people were killed and many others injured in what is now the largest gun-related act of terrorism in the USA. My heart ached. It ached for all of those people who were just there to have a good time. It ached because they weren’t doing anyone any harm. It ached because I know that hundreds of people were woken up at night only to be told that their brothers or sisters, sons or daughters, aunts or uncles, cousins, grandchildren, friends and maybe even partners would never make it back home. I looked at my son, still sleepy-eyed in his robot pajamas next to me with the sunlight of the morning just creeping into the room, and I struggled to hold back the tears thinking of all the parents who woke up to those calls.

Read More

La Voz of My Childhood

Ausencia – Hector Lavoe

“Se ha terminado otro capitulo en mi vida. La mujer que amaba hoy se me fue. Esperando…noche y dia…y no se decide a volver.”

I hear his boots as he makes his way up the stairs. I don’t need to see them to know that they are black, that they smell of sultry leather and that they make a squeaky noise as they bend at the ankle. I don’t need to see him to know that he’s tired and that he has a mix of tobacco and whiskey rising from his pores. Still, I’m so excited to know that he’s home that I rush down the ladder of mine and my brother’s bunk bed to see him. My big brother whispers “nerd” as I rush to give my Dad a great big hug.

Read More

For the Love of June…and You.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn – Poison

“Every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn.”

June is the only month of the year that is truly bittersweet for me. On the one hand, summer finally arrives in the northeast, the days get sunnier, my only nephew turns a year older, my family usually takes a big trip somewhere, and it is the month when I get to celebrate my birthday. On the other hand, it is the month when I’m most reminded that we cannot take life for granted.

Even though June is the month when I celebrate another year of life, it is also the month in which I used to share a birthday with my closest cousin Andres and my dearest Aunt Jackie. Unfortunately, they have each passed away and therein lies the reason why this month makes me feel like Jessie Spano on that episode when Zach finds out she’s addicted to caffeine pills.

jessespano_imsoexcited

Wasn’t that the greatest five minutes of pre-teen television history?

Read More

On Being a Working Mom

I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan

“I’m every woman, it’s all in me.”

Tomorrow is what most people consider to be the lamest day of the week, Monday. Dreaded Monday! For me, it means it’s time to start the week and that begins with dropping off my son at daycare and kicking off my work day. After a fun-filled weekend and lots of lounging around watching Paw Patrol, fighting with Ninja Turtles and battling “the bad guys” with our plastic swords, it’s time to get back to the business of being a working mom. Tomorrow, my son will run into school (always with more hesitation on Mondays), and I will give him a huge hug, a big kiss and tell him I love him so much. What happens in the span of time between that huge hug and when I open my laptop to start working has vastly changed in the last two years.

My son started daycare when he was seven months old. The first drop off was so intense I pulled over and cried. I called my Mom and she said, “Remember what I told you.” I remembered. The days, months and years have passed and although we rarely have a bad drop-off anymore, there were several times in the last two years when my eyes still watered. I would talk to my Mom on those tough days and she would say, “Remember what I told you.” I remembered.

Read More

SONG FUN FACT: You’re All I Need To Get By

Who doesn’t love the duet “You’re All I Need” with hip hop royalty Mary J. Blige and Method Man? If you grew up in the 90s you heard this song and if you lived in the New York metro area, you loved this song. Mary J with her beautiful and powerful voice and Method Man with his strong rapping skills delivering romantic lyrics were a perfect combination.

What many lovers of the 90’s hit song don’t know is that Read More

The Experts On Our Children Are At It Again

Listen To Your Heart – Roxette

“Listen to your heart. There’s nothing else you can do.”

Just this week, I read an article about how swaddling your baby could lead to an increased risk of SIDS. Then, there was the article that according to Slopes was a huge lie – the one about the CDC admitting that vaccines cause Autism. While these articles merit attention, I can’t say the same about articles written by “the experts”. This is not about what doctors are saying because I can believe that most times. This is about people who claim to be experts on raising kids.

I often wonder what my Grandmother Eneida would say about being a mom in the age of the Internet and what she would say about “the experts”. I’m sure it would include some profanity and something about how she raised eight children with nothing but her common sense. And you know what? She would be right. Read More

The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Paradise City – Guns  N’ Roses

“Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Oh won’t you please take me home.”

It is still probably the most surreal day of my life. It was my first day as a foreign girl in a brand new place.

My parents and big brother had left Colombia in the summer of 1986 to seek better medical treatment for my brother who had gotten sick with polio. I couldn’t join them and stayed behind in Colombia. When we were finally able to see each other again it had been three years. For them life had picked up where it left off. For me, however, it was the first day of my entire life. I was eight.

Read More

The Three Types of Enemies and What We Are Being Called to Learn From Them

Hit Me With Your Best Shot – Pat Benatar

“Hit me with your best shot. Why don’t you hit me with your best shot? Fire away!”

I believe that every person we encounter has something to teach us, even a person we might describe as an enemy. As a matter of fact, I believe no one can teach us and help us move forward as much as an enemy can. If you believe in the subject of souls and reincarnation, you understand that enemies are actually people who love you very much and it is because of that love that they have taken on the monumental task of prompting you into action by pushing you as hard as possible. Enemies are only energy that is opposite to ours and that when used constructively can help us find a place of complete balance. If someone is making you really angry and has it out for you, they are here to teach you something BIG!

Here are what I believe to be the three main enemy types and what it could mean for you if you are being exposed to any one of them.

Read More

An Eggplant is a Di*k – All the Reasons Why I’m Glad I’m Getting Older

Young Turks – Rod Stewart

“We got just one shot of life, let’s take it while we’re still not afraid. Because life is so brief and time is a thief when you’re undecided. And like a fistful of sand, it can slip right through your hands.”

Our conversation started lightly enough. I was chatting with my cousin and her husband on my mom’s couch about the upcoming elections, things that were happening on Instagram, and the really cool hashtags Bernie followers are using.

#FeelTheBern #BernieOrBust #BernBrightLikeADiamond

Don’t ask me how we got to the point where my cousin uttered these words because anything that came before this was immediately forgotten:

“Yeah, the eggplant emoji is a dick.” 

Read More